Saturday, 28 May 2011


Running to barely more than an hour, FEAST III is subtitled ‘The Happy Finish’, and closes off the carnage begun in the first two films in a suitably sleazy modern grindhouse style. Shot back-to-back with FEAST II: SLOPPY SECONDS, the film follows the survivors of that film as they continue to battle against the marauding legion of monsters in a bid for survival.

Well, without giving too much of the film away, most of those survivors don’t make it past the first five minutes, and many other new characters that show up in its 65 minute running time are torn to pieces, eaten, mauled (and in one seen taken roughly from behind) by those huge-fanged beasts.

The film is nonsensical, extremely violent, tasteless, funny, brutal and gloriously awful. There may as well be no script, with the film going from one set-piece to another seemingly at random. The characters don’t help things much either, although they all certainly look the part. The gang of biker girls has shrunk following the last film, and the assorted band of misfits that make up the rest of the cast aren’t given all that much in the way of characterization, but they seem to be having a blast with the one-liners and screaming.
The style of the film is highly kinetic and edited in a music video style that tends to hide the limitations of the budget (although not all of the rough edges are glossed over), and the use of lighting and lightning-fast cuts is overused but effective. The finest performance of the piece comes from Tom Gulager as the redneck Greg Swank, and that’s mainly down to the character spending 99% of the film with a metal pipe through his head, moaning and mumbling (with subtitles). The other decent performance comes from Diane Ayale Goldner as the Biker Queen, a true badass.

Feast III is exactly what you’d expect from a film with that title. I mean, when in the first five minutes you see the main character from the previous film decapitated, her head eaten and then violently shat out of the monster, right at the screen, you know this ain’t going to be The King’s Speech. The ending of FEAST III makes no sense AT ALL, but the credits sequence, with an old Mexican guy singing an acoustic song about the Feast movie themselves (by just walking onscreen in a snazzy outfit and singing to camera) is possibly the best thing in the entire series.

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