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Sunday, 21 November 2010

Ice Queen (2005)

Yes. Oh yes. This is the stuff. This is the sort of thing I started this site for. The low budget horror quickie known as Ice Queen came into my life as a trailer on another DVD, and about ten seconds into that trailer I knew I had to have this in my life. Not long after that, my copy arrived and I was ecstatic to find out that the film is every bit as silly as the trailer makes it out to be.

The film tells the story of an ancient creature (conveniently in the form of an attractive young woman) is discovered perfectly preserved in ice. She is flown away for tests and experimentation when the flight goes awry, crashing into a ski resort, right in the middle of a massive avalanche. Naturally, once the resort is cut off from the rest of the world, the creature wakes up and turns all demonic. Carnage ensues.

There's very little in the way of budget to speak of, but there are some sequences of Ice Queen that are really impressive. The avalanche scene is one of those moments, formed from miniature work, CGI and stock footage to create a convincing and thrilling sequence. After that we're in low budget horror potboiler territory, with airheaded characters being picked off (and indeed ripped to pieces) one by one by the Ice Queen.

Quite frankly, it's a rubbish bit of brainless schlock, but it's also ridiculous enough to be funny and cheap enough to make me cringe with delight. The Ice Queen herself is the star of the whole thing, and is played with no small measure of evil glee by Ami Chorlton (who made appearances in Die Another Day and, erm, Relic Hunter). She roars, bites, tears and terrorizes her way through a cast of vapid nonentities in a farcical orgy of blood, gore and running.

After the somewhat large-scale opening, the film fizzles out into a typical monster romp by the twenty minute mark, but it's entertaining enough to maintain your interest for the running time even if for most of it you're shouting at the screen in a blind rage, praying that the cast are going to start acting at some point.

It doesn't happen, but the delightfully stupid ending (which is alarmingly original, along with daft) sort of makes up for that. Don't expect a great film. Expect cheese, a weak script, some great gore, a cool monster and some delightfully brainless late-night entertainment. Just don't try to take it seriously, or you'll melt.

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