Sunday, 10 January 2010

Voyage Of The Rock Aliens

This filmed warped me. It really did. As a teenager in the mid nineties, I was completely in love with ll things 80s, the music, the films, the styles, way before it was fashionable. I snapped up as many 80s movies as I possibly could, which meant I did end up getting hold of a lot of crap as well as the good stuff.

This flick found its way into my collection as a big-box VHS, and last week showed up on my DVD pile in a vanilla release I'd found cheap. Jeez, where do I start with this monstrosity? Um, right. Here goes.

Take Grease, 80s electro pop, the eighties fascination with he 50s, Devo style alien guys in pink costumes who fly around in a giant space guitar, bizarre dance sequences, an obese jogging lady covered in chocolate bars, Craig Scheffer being butch, Pia Zadora being Pia Zadora and an opening sequence that is actually a Jermain Jackson music video in which he duets with Ms Zadora in a weird post apocalyptic wasteland that has nothing to do with the movie, and you have a recipe for madness.

Aliens have come to the town of 'Speelburgh' (say it out loud), looking for the source of rock n' roll. Instead they run into Dee Dee (Zadora) and her hot-headed boyfriend Frank (Scheffer), who is the head of a street gang (who also double up as a rock band) called The Pack. Hilarity, dancing and lots of hairspray ensue.

This is, without a doubt, one of the most ridiculous and gloriously surreal films that the 80s spat at us. It's like having your brains scooped out and candy floss pumped into the empty space while you listen to bouncy pop for 90 minutes.

The film was shot in 1984 but languished on various shelves until 1988 when it was finally spat out at the public. Quite rightfully, it disappeared without much of a trace, but there are VHS copies and now DVDs of it doing the the rounds if you're feeling particularly masochistic. yet, despite all of its flaws I find that I can't help but be glued to every ridiculous minute of it.

It is literally a terrible film in every respect, but it is also genius for the same reasons. Craig Scheffer must cringe when this flick is brought up in conversation, but at least it looks like the cast had a blast making it. The film plays like some kind of sugary hallucination, yet it's hard to look away from the screen. All it really needs to be perfect is a cameo from Michael Berryman. Oh cool! There he is!

Electro pop aliens, be-quiffed 50s-loving 80s rock and roll, outlandish outfits, mental songs, dance scenes that start out based around girls' underwear around their ankles in toilet cubicles, the barest hint of a plot and some of the most bizarre visuals ever committed to film during that oh-so-tasteful decade? Sign me up! This film is awesome! Now I'm off to try and detox all of this sugar from my system before I end up in a coma. Voyage of the Rock Aliens is hazardous to your health. If you want a great film, don't watch this. If you want a great time taking the piss out of every frame, then you may well have found paradise.

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